4 ways to become inspired to learn to cook

Hey there!

Have you been thrown on your own into the wild for the first time? Has a pandemic uprooted your usual way of life, and now you find yourself dumbfounded in the kitchen? Have you lost motivation to cook because you are sharing so much less of your physical life with others? Are you feeling like CRAP and completely fed up, having decided enough is enough and it’s time to feel better?

You are not alone, my friend. This was my exact (well, almost exact) position only 3 short years ago — no experience, no interest, no support, and poor health. I didn’t know where to start in providing food for myself, and I didn’t want to start. The relentless hunger demand of my body irritated me, and I regularly attempted to starve it into submission. Spoiler — it didn’t work.

The environment in which I needed to learn how to cook was a toxic one — I felt anxiety during the day when it was time to go home. Avoidance of both my home environment and my own needs was a regular strategy. It breaks my heart now to reflect on where I was then — while it was a special time in my life in many ways, it was also my lowest point in my total health and self esteem.

When I studied abroad with a host family in Amsterdam following that destructive year, my life turned around, and a previous point of apathy became a source of my greatest passion. I will soon share a more detailed account of my journey from painful self-neglect to self-loving powerhouse cook, but here I would like to break down some ways you can become inspired to learn how to cook as both a total newbie, and even as someone who feels apathy in the kitchen as I once did.

1. Start with a simple guide

Fundamentally, cooking can be really easy, and should be really easy if you are a beginner. I got started by purchasing a cookbook by Jamie Oliver called “5 Ingredients”, and I told myself there was no way I could be overwhelmed or fail at cooking a meal requiring so few ingredients.

It became my cooking bible, and I selected a recipe from that book weekly to cook for my host family. I did not touch cooking websites or venture into other books or magazines — I clung to that book like a life raft. And it worked. I was at ease enough to start.

You may have noticed or heard that expensive wine tastes just as good as many of its cheap counterparts. That could not be more true of cooking — many of my easiest creations have also been the most delicious.

As a new cook, I would recommend you start off with a guide, as I did. I found it helps also to have a physical book to hold in your hands — you can muddle through the ad-laden websites later. (OR you can select some of my recipes, as I’m new here and don’t have ads yet!).

As “5 Ingredients” is meat-centric, I would recommend searching Google for “plant based cookbooks for beginners.” Take a look at reviews and look at some page previews if possible. I can all but guarantee the market is overflowing with cookbooks just like 5 Ingredients that instead center on plants, the healthier and more sustainable alternative.

2. Cook with, and for, others

This is overwhelmingly the most impactful action one can take, in my experience, to develop confidence and skill in the kitchen. Without this opportunity abroad, I don’t know if I ever would have blossomed into the cook I am today.

The biggest obstacle for me before I learned how to cook was not availability of information or belief that cooking was inherently difficult. It was lack of support and lack of people to share the learning experience with. It was not believing in myself. It was knowing that if I failed to execute a meal, I wouldn’t be able to laugh it off with a friend, high five for the attempt, and discuss how it could go better next time. It was knowing I would instead sit at the table by myself, feeling disappointed, with no one there to witness that I even tried. It would mean throwing away the food and going to bed hungry, because, see? I can’t do it. I suck. I don’t deserve to eat if I can’t pull off something so “easy.” It was knowing that if I experienced success with a meal, no one would be there to enjoy and celebrate with me.

If you are struggling with these challenges, let me be the first to assure you that you are not “just lazy”, nor is there something wrong with you. It completely makes sense that learning to cook by yourself, for yourself, is not appealing. After all, we are social beings, and food brings us together more than any other aspect of life. Cooking and eating together is arguably the most special part of the human experience, and while plenty learn to cook alone, there is a better way.

I would recommend getting started by taking a similar approach to the one I did abroad–create a tradition among your family or friend group of cooking together once per week. It is a fun, playful, fantastic, and authentic way to connect with those you care about.

Yes, we are in a pandemic, and gathering is not encouraged. But can you think of one person in your life who wants to learn how to cook, or who would enjoy cooking with you and supporting you in your journey?

I found my one person a year and a half ago at an internship — I mentioned cooking together, and she was interested! We began a system of cooking together every week — one week I would plan the meal, grocery shop, host, and keep most or all of the leftovers. The next week, responsibility would switch off to her. This was my first friendship that has ever revolved around a cooking tradition, and it is one of the most enriching relationships I have ever had. My growth as a cook has accelerated extensively because of just that one connection.

If you are going to summon any energy in the kitchen, let it be shared energy to start with. Outside of that weekly tradition, don’t feel that you need to dramatically alter your habits and force yourself to cook every day. Let that weekly tradition slowly fuel you and assist in your development of both interest and skill.

If a weekly cooking tradition does not feel feasible for you to achieve, I would recommend exploring your local food pantries, soup kitchens, and homeless shelters, and finding out how you can get involved. I volunteered for a few months in the kitchen at the Food Bank, and I also assisted in cooking a meal for the homeless community at my local church on one occasion. Both experiences, but particularly the latter where I actually served the food to the community and ate with them, were highly rewarding for me.

We know that helping others releases oxytocin, and increases our feelings of connectivity. We also know that, sadly, this pandemic is pushing an unprecedented amount of people into hunger and food insecurity. There has never been a better time to lend a helping hand–and what better way to help than to serve food. It is my firm belief that serving food is serving love, and it doesn’t get much more powerful or special than that during trying times.

The need for nourishment is something we all share as human beings, and cooking/eating together is deeply intimate. Sharing meals with those you love is arguably the strongest way to connect with them and to elevate yourself, as the food will nourish your body, and the social connection will nourish your spirit. Likewise, serving food to those less fortunate provides perspective, gratitude, and a sense of connection that can empower you in your personal home cooking journey.

3. Take a cooking class

Looking for a more formal way to establish a foundation of basic cooking skills while connecting with others in the process? If it’s in the budget, taking a cooking class is a great approach!

I have taken two cooking classes — “knife skills” and “vegan for everyone.” Both classes, but particularly the former, were quite helpful to my growth. I mastered the art of dicing an onion thanks to the expert guidance of a chef instructor, and also learned a new method of chopping tomatoes.

I attended both classes alone and had a great time — the students paired off into groups (again, cooking together — highly rewarding) and I got to know some new people as we embarked on a learning adventure together. If you are interested in cooking classes and can’t find anyone to go with you, don’t let that deter you — just go for it! Everyone in the class will be enthusiastic and curious, just like you, and you could even walk away from the class with a new friend to continue a cooking journey with!

In non pandemic times, you may want to consider working in a kitchen as a method for learning to cook in a formal setting — being a line cook at Noodles & Company certainly accelerated my growth. I am not making that suggestion its own heading, though, because cooking as a job is a much bigger commitment and not as fun as taking a class here and there. Depending on your interests and position in life, working in a kitchen may not be for you. Not to mention it is grueling work and you are unlikely to earn a living wage, so it may just not be an option even if it does interest you.

4. Join an in person or online cooking community

This brings me to my last tip for learning to cook as a newbie — join a community! In non pandemic times, I routinely searched for Meetup groups interested in cooking. While I did not find any local to me, you may have a different experience, and you can always start a group of your own if you are so compelled.

If connecting with an in person community is not comforting or feasible right now, another great option would be to join an online community. In early March, I was invited to a Facebook group called “Plague Chef”, and I quickly became inspired and empowered as a member of this group.

Plague Chef is a group of over six thousand home cooks sharing their successes and failures in their kitchens amid this pandemic — there is never a shortage of entertainment. If you think you suck at cooking, rest assured — you are in great company in this group, and you will have a safe space to laugh about it and get inspired. Cooking does not need to be serious — it’s supposed to be fun!

Most of us understand that being a part of a community is critical for our well being. As a part of Plague Chef, I am reminded with each new post that I am not alone in cooking at home or in struggling to navigate life in a pandemic. Even from behind a screen, I have found a strong sense of togetherness as a result of this group — I have a space for conversation, laughter, and support with like-minded people who are doing their best, just like me. I have become online friends with a few of these people as well. I did not expect a simple Facebook group to become so uplifting during times of struggle.

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Lastly, I want to share this: if you are apathetic about cooking and view it as a chore, as I once did, please remember that it is the most powerful act of self-love you can engage in. There is nowhere to go but up, and no way to feel but better. Like anything, growth in the kitchen comes one step at a time–so start slow, celebrate the small victories, and don’t give up!

A simple guide and a little support can make all the difference in your confidence and in your health. If you fail, don’t be hard on yourself — we all have flops even as experienced cooks! If you succeed, take a moment to bask in the sense of accomplishment and internal hug of nourishment you have received.

Given the pandemic, the above tips will provide varying degrees of possibility for you. When in doubt, start a cooking tradition with your loved ones over a video chat, watch some funny cooking videos on Youtube to lift your spirits, browse the online cooking communities, and dare to join an online cooking class! When the pandemic is over, you will have already started networking, and will more than likely have new, exciting opportunities to look forward to.

Have other ways to become inspired that I missed? Have a personal story to share on how you came to cooking? Please drop me a line — I would love to hear from you!